Create the Path to Great Working Relationships With These 4 Steps

I have been fortunate over the years to work with teams from across the country. One common thread that shows up for many is the fear of having direct conversations with their co-workers, be it supervisors or subordinates.

When you withhold your true feelings and observations of the co-worker’s productivity and forego expressing the needs of the business and the responsibilities of the person’s position, this sets everyone up for failure vs. freedom. By not creating a relationship of clarity and trust from the very beginning it can make your work life miserable, and ultimately not produce the results you want for the business. Needless to say, if you, as the Leader feels like you are walking on eggshells around your co-workers, this avoidance can bring on a variety of problems.

Be authentic and provide clarity of the current reality of the situation. Your co-workers welcome it, believe it or not. They long for the same open, candid communication that you desire and having a relationship based on trust. So how do you accomplish this?

Take the first step.

You both are on a team so that each of you could focus on your strengths and leave the rest to others. Firstly, it’s up to you, as the Leader to take the first step by preparing properly for discussion and ensure you create a good environment to have the conversation.  Being “too busy” is not an excuse. It is a Leader’s responsibility to make time to take care of conflict/conversations of this nature.  Schedule a time that will be convenient for the conversation to occur and do whatever is necessary to ensure that you allow sufficient time for the discussion. Advise your co-worker that you will need 30 minutes/an hour to discuss something with them.

Get clear on the real “issue” at hand.

You both are on a team so that each of you could focus on your strengths and leave the rest to others. Firstly, it’s up to you, as the Leader to take the first step by preparing properly for discussion and ensure you create a good environment to have the conversation.  Being “too busy” is not an excuse. It is a Leader’s responsibility to make time to take care of conflict/conversations of this nature.  Schedule a time that will be convenient for the conversation to occur and do whatever is necessary to ensure that you allow sufficient time for the discussion. Advise your co-worker that you will need 30 minutes/an hour to discuss something with them.

Follow-up is critical. Have a consistent, scheduled weekly time to meet one-on-one to keep the door open for conversation.

The old saying, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” definitely applies here. I was surprised how many Leaders and co-workers only meet as a group, and don’t have one-on-ones with those they regularly interact with. When you meet weekly, even it is just for thirty minutes, then challenges won’t pile up and you’ll keep your stress level in check and your co-workers will have more clarity on what is expected of them. Find a time that makes sense for both you and your co-worker, and schedule for every week here on out.

Propose solutions for the challenge from your perspective as a Leader and engage your co-worker to do the same.

Remember the classic book, “The One-Minute Manager”? When you bring your co-worker a challenge without any ideas for how to solve it, you don’t have a challenge – you have a complaint. Try to come up with at least two alternatives on how you’d suggest the challenge be resolved, and why. And even before you offer up the suggestions, ask them how they would resolve the challenges.

Above all, speak the truth of the reality of the situation with your co-worker. Quit investing time and energy in trying to find delicate ways to approach a subject. Be respectfully direct, and you’ll honor yourself and your co-worker by doing so.

The art of creating great relationships in a company starts with clarity of what the current reality is, then finding a way to communicate the challenge and designing a path for positive change, which is freedom from frustration. Leaders are the role models of how they would prefer everyone in their organization to handle conflict/challenges. Don’t’ be shy to evaluate your company, your co-workers now and determine if there is an underlying issue that needs to be discussed. Be bold and be willing to rise up in your Leadership to create a better relationship by starting with the challenging issues.

You will be proud of yourself for tackling this challenge!